YOUR PUNISHMENT IS....

"Who are you punishing for the sins that someone else committed?" Think about that with me for a minute. You cannot tell me that doesn't hit a chord in your heart somewhere. Sometimes it is easy to try to punish all men because of what one did to you. Sometimes you punish your children for reminding you of your spouse, whether it is because they hurt you and left physically or in death. Sometimes you punish yourself for what others have done to you. Who are you punishing? In attempting a dating life, I have to remind myself that the guy I am going out with isn't my dad or my ex. He may be making an innocent statement, but all I hear is the voice of another aiming to hurt me. Sometimes my son looks just like his dad. You know what I mean when I say, I cringe a bit. My mouth is saying, "Boy, you look just like your daddy right now. You cute thing." My heart is screaming, to please let him be better than his dad and even me for that matter.
   I have not punished the ones that have hurt me or even had any retaliation towards them. Does that make me a super Christian or even amazingly strong? Absolutely not! I pray it means I have grown and acquired some wisdom. In a way, I made it harder on myself. I can hear the little devil in me saying, "Any time, ANY TIME you can drop that information and absolutely annihilate him. You have POWER. You did SO good not saying anything. That was smart to hold onto that nugget. Did you hear what he said to YOU? Who does he think he is talking to YOU like that?" Then the angel side of me, that has a BIG job, says, "What kind of person does that make you for retaliating? You would be just as bad as they are. It may feel good for a second, but you will be living with the consequences for a lifetime." That statement that says, "With great power comes great responsibility." How true that is. We get hurt or someone "wrongs" us. We do not do anything about it or we stay in a marriage where the trust is broken, but boy do we make them pay.
   Every day I try to be a better person. Every day, I get hit with something that just about turns me inside out. Sometimes it gets to me when I get on FB and I see people ranting and raving about their problems or about the "friends" they have that has betrayed them. I want to say "Hey pot! Who are you calling kettle?" Really, how many times do we do that? Maybe not is a public forum but we do rant and rave and put ourselves up on a pedestal and think how good we were for not saying what we were really thinking. I do it ALL THE TIME. Bless the little heart of the angel in my head (that may or may not be a little malnutrition-ed) that tries to get my attention above the little devil's voice. Who am I to punish anyone? Who am I to say, I am sooo much better then them? I have had to humbly ask for forgiveness and feel like I was two inches tall and just pray for total forgiveness. Have I not wronged other people? Am I perfect? I am not going to lie, I have talked to myself as if I was talking to that person and just let them have it. In my mind they felt so repentant and remorseful and like like a nobody and then I graciously forgave them. Once I indignantly get done with my fantasy, the ramifications of that act hit me full force. How would I feel if it were me? The reason it is so hard to forgive is because we have to forgive someone who doesn't deserve it. Isn't that what God did for us? What makes us better than God?
  Sometimes it is a DAILY struggle not to punish the "deserving". I thank God that He forgave me. I thank God that He has brought me to a place that I have grown and know that punishing someone never serves that person as good as God punishing them. I fail at this, but I pray that God will open my eyes and my heart where I can pray for those that I want to punish. I pray that God will show them what He showed me and if not, give me the grace to deal with the hurt, pain and sometimes confusion. I pray I will realize that it could be me and one day may be. Your punishment is.... living with yourself because I forgive you.

WHEN THE HURT WON'T STOP

  You ever get one of those headaches that no matter how much medication you take, it is still there? It may have dulled a bit. It may still hurt for your head to touch the pillow. It just hurts. It isn't debilitating like it was and for that you are thankful, but it just won't go away. The hurt just doesn't stop.
  I have found that sometimes life can be that way. Sometimes the wound is healing. Sometimes the wound is just a bit of a scar where a gash used to be. Sometimes you feel those phantom pains where a part of you has been cut off. Sometimes everything hurts and what doesn't hurt makes you cry. When the hurt won't stop. Do you?
  When the nights come alive with voices and the darkness is too loud. When your bed is no longer a place to rest but becomes a battlefield in your nightmares that won't go away. When every time you step into your house it feels empty no matter who is there. When you enter and it doesn't smell like you and it never feels like home. When you live inside your computer because that is your only contact with the outside world and it is "safe". When you cringe when someone says "I've been where you are." When your kids don't understand the sacrifices you have made and are making for them and it all seems so lost. When they ask you for something you cannot give. When you smile and you forget what it feels like to smile and not tell your face what to do. When a laugh sneaks up on you and it sounds strange to your own ears. When the person you have become gets tired of fighting to be seen instead of who you were.When your family only knows what you tell them and you just want SOMEONE to see you and you not have to tell them what the problem is. When you see that look of pity in someone's eyes and it feels like a knife. When you want people to see where you are now but don't have the physical representation of it yet. When you get tired of trying to be a better person just for someone to tell you you aren't good enough. When you just hide from the world just because you feel like you won't be missed. When you hide from the world just because. When you need someone to recognize you have come so far.When you give your heart away just to get it broken. When someone remembers you before the pain came. When those times come, what will you do?
   You can say all day long you know how you will handle it. You can take anything you want to in account but NOTHING prepares you better for something except for the actual event. You can read as many parenting books as you want, like I did, but nothing prepared me for the sleep deprivation or the overwhelming love I feel for my babies.
  I was driving down the road the other day and heard this song. If you are going through anything that I listed or your own pain that won't quit. Here is this best thing that I KNOW will help and many times make it go away, guaranteed.

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_4g8_e16dc
                    Copy and paste this in your browser and listen with an open heart and mind.

THE KING AND I

One of my favorite stories, the way I remember it, is the perfect representation of the "new world" I now belong to. IF you will read it in its entirety you will understand and if you are like me you may find a tear or two escaping your eyes as you see the truth in the story. It goes something a little like. . . . The king was going through the village one day and saw a boy in tattered clothes and haggard eyes. He had nothing but a coin and looked as though he had cleaned many stalls and fireplaces to earn. He went to the merchants’ tent to buy some bread and saw a little girl and boy in much the same condition as himself and much younger huddled in the alley. The little boy bought the bread, looked at it longingly and gave it to the two youngsters. They looked as though there were terrified at first then ate it with veracity. The little boy with stooped shoulders, turned around, shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking back through the village while his stomach prtested. He had no idea that the king had watched all of this from his vantage point and sat there on his steed with tears in his eyes. He nudged his horse and began walking behind the boy. The little boy felt as though he was being watched and carefully turned around. His eyes became big, his mouth dry and his heart raced. Quickly he looked down to the ground and waited for the king to pass him by. He didn't. “What should I do?” he thought. He became like a statue and tried to hold his breath. The footsteps that met his ears seemed to mock him and speak of his doom. Then, a big warm hand was on his shoulder. He slowly looked up into tear stained and friendly eyes. “Boy, come with me.” Obediently he followed as the village people began to stop and whisper. He walked through the village with the king by his side, his hand still tenderly on his shoulder. He could barely feel that giant hand now it felt like it had become a part of him. He still felt scared but he also felt a surge of confidence as well. They entered the castle gates and he felt like his feet would quit moving. The castle! Of course, the king must need a stable boy but they past the entrance to the stables. Oh, he must need someone to work in the kitchen but they past the servants entrance as well. He was being brought through the main door. No one but royalty enters through there. Even the servants stopped and stared. This little boy with nothing but rags on was being escorted into the palace by the king himself! The King called his personal servant up and told him to bring the best clothes and shoes he could find for the boy. He called to the cook and told her to make her best dishes she has ever served with the finest of ingredients. He called for a warm bath and told the boy to wash and put on the King’s robe while he waited to be dressed. The boy didn't move. He just stood there in confusion staring at his bare, dirty feet. The King started to walk away and realized the boy was still. “What is wrong? Don’t you want a bath and clean clothes? Aren't you hungry?” Still, no answer or movement. The King knelt down in front of the lad and gently put his hand under the boy’s chin and lifted his face so he could look into his dirty face. The boy had tears trying to fall down his face. “Boy, what is the matter?” “I don’t understand sir. I am just an orphan with no home and no food. Why did you bring me here?” The King smiled a smile that lit the room. “I brought you here to live with me. I saw you in the market when you bought the bread and gave it selflessly to those children. I was watching when you thought no one cared. I saw your heart in that deed and knew that you were more than those tattered clothes and matted hair. You had the heart of a King. I have no children of my own. I want you to be my son. You will have the best clothes money can buy and more food than you could ever eat.” The tears began spilling over his cheeks as his listened to the soothing voice of the King. The King WANTED him? “But sir, I have nothing to give you in return.” “All I require is your love and that you will one day be the King I will teach you to be. I have done everything for you. All you need to do is accept my offer.” At first, the boy discretely pinched his own arm just to be sure he wasn't dreaming. Then, he smiled so big it hurt. He almost toppled the King in a hug. The King wiped away the boy’s tears, patted his head and slipped out of the room. After the boy bathed and put on his new clothes he wrapped his old ones in a piece of cloth and hid them in his room.

          The boy lived there for quite some time and was adjusting to his amazing new life. The King was kind and loving and he had never eaten so much in his life! Every morning his servant came to wake him he would be up already ready to start the day. One morning the servant noticed that the boy look as though he had been crying. He puzzled over this. He knew he was an orphan and now he lived with the King. What could be the matter? He took notice every morning for a week and observed the same thing. He decided he would come to his room early enough to see if he could figure out what was wrong. The next morning the servant got up earlier than usual, dressed quickly and hurried to the prince’s room. He heard his bed creak and heard a few footsteps. He carefully cracked the door and stood there with his mouth wide open. There stood the prince in the dirty tattered clothes, that once were too big now were almost too small, that he came to the palace in the day the King brought him home. He saw the prince’s shoulders shake and tears were streaming down his cheeks as he looked in the looking glass. The prince noticed he had company and quickly turned around to see who it was. “Sorry, sir” the servant stuttered. The prince sadly smiled and walked into the other room to change. The servant tried to move but he could not without finding out what he just observed. The prince came through with a smile and a nod and started to walk out the door. “Sir, I must know. Why would you keep those dirty rags and why would you put them on?” The prince looked knowingly at the servant and said, “Good sir, I was chosen to come live at the palace. I have a warm bed, the finest clothes, more food than I could ever eat and a father who loves me. I had nothing before but these filthy rags. I put them on every morning to never forget where I came from and to be thankful of where I am now.” The servant slowly nodded his head and with tears in his own eyes bowed, and left the room with his heart changed forever.
          You cannot tell me you do not love the truth to that story. I had nothing and Jesus gave me everything. If He took everything I have now away from me I would still be better off than I was without Him. I am living in a new world but it is much the same as my old one because Jesus is still with me every step of the way. His hand is on my shoulder and sometimes I may not be able to feel it but it is still there. He gave me the clothes on my back and the food that I eat. I must never forget where I came from and remember it with thankfulness. I must listen to the King’s instruction and immolate His heart. I must always remember who I was and be ready to pass it on to others. I had nothing but Jesus gave me everything. 

WAITING

     Patience has never been my strong suit. Patience is a virtue that I am not sure I will ever master. I am a goal oriented, step by step person. I like things neat and organized in every area of my life. I have been like that since I can remember. "Let all things be done decently and in order." 1 Cor 14:40 I have taken that verse to heart. My kids memorized it. When we look at school work or their rooms it is quoted whether they succeeded or need to do better.
     I have finally figure out what I want to do with my life as far as a career goes. Therefore, I started taking courses in that field. I made up a list of things that would help my children and benefit them in the course of their lives. There again, I have been preparing them and myself in order to make them happen. I know what I want out of life. I know what my kids need. Now, where to I reside that would benefit all of us and make those two very important things a reality. What steps do I take to make sure the timing is right? Where do we go to church to make sure our spiritual needs are met outside of our own walk? How close or how far do I need to be to my family and friends? I don't know all of those answers. I thought I knew a good portion of them, then I am thrown off again. I know that when I moved to where I am now, I was hiding out. Now, I am making preparations to move towards something. I can feel it.
     God promised to take care of us. He promised He would never leave us. He is not done with me yet. I know that. The thing is, I do not operate on His time table. First of all, there is no time in Heaven. It shows! He may be on time in His mind but it feels late sometimes. There is no promise that I will make a mark on this world while I am living. Do you even know how many people didn't live to see their fame? Do you know how many people's prayers were answered long after they were in Heaven? There is no guarantee that God's promises will happen in our life time. God promised Abraham he would be the "father of many nations" and that redemption would come through his blood lines. Do you know how many generations passed until Christ came to earth through Abraham?
     I do not want to be the one that is impatiently waiting and forcing things to happen. I do not want to make a move and find out that if I would have just waited a little longer, everything would have been a lot less complicated. So, how do you determine if you go or stay? How do you know if the timing is right or not?
     We all have limitation, but one we all have in common is our inability to see the future. You know what? God has always been and always will be. I don't have to worry about my tomorrow because He is already there and knows what will happen. Some say that dependence on God is a sign of weakness. To me, it takes much more strength to know I cannot do it alone and I do not control everything. I feel like the "Cat in the Hat" juggle lots of things standing on a ball. Eventually, it is too much and everything starts crashing down and makes a royal mess. There is comfort and reassurance that we are not made to go through life alone. We not only find that in a life long partner but we find it even more so in God.
     I have cultivated some trust issues in my life, but one thing I know for sure that God has NEVER let me down. I don't know that future. I don't know whether I should move to this city or that one. I know where I want my kids to go to school. I know they need more time with their dad. I know what I want to do for a career. Those are the things I know. Now I just need to build on those and connect the unknown to what I know. It will not fall together tonight. I will need God's help to make anything happen. See, I am already moving towards my "something" and I haven't even gotten out of my chair yet. Fighting our own mind is sometimes most of the battle. I have some things I want to accomplish with my life. Finding out how all that fits into the equation will help me resolve my present dilemma.
     Patience? Ha! Yeah, I am working on that. Finding out my goals and dreams? Check. Doing what is best for the kids? Check. Where do I go from here? Wait. Who do I travel through life with? Friends, family and God. Anyone else is part of the unknown. If we knew how the story ended we would never read a mystery novel. Part of the adventure is putting together the clues ourselves. Life is definitely an adventure and I just need to be prepared as possible and do my best with the rest.

WHEN IS IT MY TURN?

I sat in church today and looked around at the circular auditorium, the hardwood floors on the platform, the way the auditorium was built to where you walked down to get to the alter, the scrolled wood on the pews, the beautiful architecture in the room where I was sitting. I sat there and listened to the choir as if I was sitting in Heaven in the presence of Jesus. The voices were raised as if they were trying to reach Heaven but the sound was if they were trying to outdo the angels. Each song was so strategically sung and was in line with what I needed. The sermon tied into the songs and they both opened a part of me I keep quiet and poured in healing, and desire for the Lord, inside of me again. So much so, it overflowed and I sat there with the tears flowing as if they would never stop. I sat there knowing every word was true but because it was true it struck me that the truth is for me too. I had been praying for God to step in and take over. There were things I couldn't do or handle. There was no way I could MAKE it happen in the foreseeable future either. When will it be my turn to be able to tell my story of where God has brought me instead of living in it still? When will this chapter end?
                Several times, I sat across from my friends and watched them together. I know where they have been and where they are now. I saw their chemistry. I saw them work together. I heard them get aggravated at each other but it was all okay. They loved each other. It was obvious Who was in the middle of their relationship. I had heard them talk to and about each other and how they were together but never seen it until now. I selfishly sat there a few times and asked God: When is it my turn? When can I laugh and tease with someone who loves me like that? When can I share my story of how we met? When can I show others the love story God wrote for me? When is it my turn?

I want to help other people with my words and my life but how can I when I am still trying to pull myself up? The thing I realized is, I am in line. Every day pushes me closer to being where I desire to be. Every step helps me walk in the direction I am pointing myself in. Every person I speak to in some way I can help them in that second to know they are not alone. Eventually I will be in the front of the line and I will be next. I know I will never “arrive” but there are things that I will eventually accomplish. I will eventually recover emotionally and financially from the divorce. I will eventually have my degree. I will eventually be able to start my career in the field I am working towards. I will eventually meet someone that I can share my life with. I will eventually be that person who shows other people they can make it because I did. I will eventually be able to treat the ones who have helped me. I will eventually be able to have my turn. Just because it isn't today doesn't mean I have failed. It doesn't mean I am not loved. It doesn't mean I am less than someone else. It just means it’s not my turn yet. I know it will come. Until that day, I will be on the move towards those goals. I will be attempting to be patient and be ready to embrace my moment when it presents itself. When’s it my turn? I don’t know. I do know what I will be doing until it is. 

LOST

    I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel so lost. I think I have figured out certain things just for them to change. I feel like I am in a white room with all of my confusion swirling around my head in black. How do you decipher what is a legitimate concern and your own insecurities? How do you determine what is truth that will remain constant and what is opinion that will eventually change?
    When I was a kid I hid in the clothes racks at the stores. I would scare my mom to death until she would notice my feet sticking out underneath the clothes or hear me giggle. One say in the mall I hid from her. I had been in there for what seemed like forever and finally I peeked out to see where she was. I didn't see her anywhere. I stood up and looked around and she was nowhere to be found. Everywhere I looked seemed to take on life. The clothes looked like they were going to grab me and hold me captive. The people that glanced my way looked as if they would eat me alive. I started calling her name frantically. Then, I saw a security guard and walked up to him. Mom came out of hiding and told the guard everything was okay. She was watching me the whole time, but wanted to teach me a lesson not to hide from her again. It worked! Scared me to pieces. I was lost, I thought.
    That feeling where everything took on a life of its own is kind of where I am today. I have a lot of great things going on and on the flip side I still have some questions. I have been "enlightened" a lot this past weekend. I have had some questions answered that I have had floating around in my mind for a while now. Yet, I am still thinking, how do I process this knowledge now? It makes it easier and much harder to know the truth sometimes. The "problem" with knowing a certain truth is figuring out when to share it with others that do not know that particular truth. I have also learned that my instincts are better than I give them credit for. It is hardest when your emotions get involved and try to over-rule your head.
    Sometimes I just feel lost. I am a determined and driven person. I always have something to point myself towards but in my mind I am in that room with the black cloud over me made up of my doubts. How do you refute those doubts? How do you determine what is insecurities and what is a legitimate concern?
    I have found that if I take a one of those lines from my cloud like "should you determine you will just be alone" and look at why I feel that way. Am I scared of being hurt? Yes. Am I afraid that I will be rejected for not being perfect? Yes. Do I want to be alone? No. What will happen 10 years from now if I decide to do that? My kids will be gone and I will be left to live with my choices. What kind of solution do I have from those questions? I have found that my insecurities and fear of being hurt again is clouding my judgement. I like to be in control of my world. It gives me some reassurance because I won't hurt me. The thing is, I am in control of my decisions but I am not the One Who is in control.God is. That is when I have a friend or I have to mentally pry my hands off a situation.
    I clean houses and do school now. I have a lot of "alone" time. Either my mind is planning or it is poking holes in the plans I just made. I drive my own self crazy!! I have to get to that point to do what I know I am supposed to do and let the rest happen. I am a proactive person. I do not like to sit by and let everyone else do the work or have the fun. It takes a lot for me to just take a deep breath and sit on the sidelines for a time. When I played sports, if I was ever on the bench, I paced because I was dying to get back in on the action. My coach would rather have be play then have to watch me pace. In volleyball I played every second, just so you know.
   I had my life planned out. When that plan and the backup plan went awry, I felt so lost. Sometimes, I still wonder where I fit in. I am not married. I am not exactly single. When you are divorced no one calls you single. You are now divorced. So, where do I go? Where do I fit in? Now my sense is kicking in. Honestly, I have never "fit in". I have yet to meet a person who successfully put me in a mold. I have never tried to be on the "in crowd". I made my own crowd. I love everybody and cannot stand for anyone to be left out. My friends are an eclectic group and I love it. Each one brings something different to me as a person. Is it really THAT important for me to fit in now when I never have before? Not so much. Where do I go? First of all, it's "we" not "I". Every decision I make has my kids best interest at heart. We go wherever will be the best for my children. Problems solved!!
    Don't get me wrong, not every doubt and question I have circling around me is that easy to resolve, but that is my process. If I find one that has stumped me I ask a couple people I trust explicitly and prepare myself for what they will say. If I am not ready for advice. I attempt to put it to rest until the timing is right. All of our problems, questions, and concerns cannot be resolved when we want them to be. When someone is "lost" it means they are moving. They were in a familiar place and somehow got off that track. Sometimes you find a better path than the one you were on. Sometimes you just need a little guidance to get back to where you were. We are all a little lost in some way. We just have to figure out what is right for us and bluff our way past our insecurities.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

    I don't know what to do!!! Where do I go from here? What am I supposed to feel like? What is my life going to be like? Is there something wrong with me? Where is God in all of this?
   These questions have kept me company for going on a year. Some more than others. I was a preacher's kid. DON'T quit reading! Haha! I grew up pretty much in a fish bowl. Everything we did we were scrutinized unmercifully sometimes. We had people leave the church saying it was something we did as kids. Honestly, they were looking for an excuse, but that was hard for a kid to swallow and not knowing what in the world we could have done to cause that. My life was mapped out for me for as long as I can remember. My dad and I had these discussions a lot growing up. I was going to attend the Christian college he attended. I would get my Bachelor's and possibly my Master's degree. I would meet Mr. Right and get married. My first kiss would be at the alter. We would be married for two years and have our first child then space however more children we had every two years. This was the plan. None of that happened. Just so you know!
  I went to college for one year and had my heart broken. I didn't even think I would be able to breathe again much less continue on at that college. I met another fellow shortly after. We started dating on the rebound and got married a year later. We were pregnant within the year, on birth control.  Then, we got pregnant again when he was eleven months old, counting days. Any kind of prevention didn't work for us.....
    We were young and so naive. There were so many things working against us that I didn't even know about until YEARS later. I had given this man EVERYTHING. He was my first in every category there was. I had his children and now we aren't even married anymore. (I am not proclaiming that I was a perfect wife either) Where do I go from here?
   Marriage is for life and it is over and I am still here. How am I supposed to feel now? Does that mean my life is over? A guy looks at me and I feel for the ring on my left finger and it is no longer there. Men started coming out of the woodwork thinking I was an easy target, married or not. It made me feel dirty. I was supposed to be married. How do you switch your mind to the fact that you are single? What is my life going to be like? I am alone. I have no degree. I have no career. I have no "fall back". My first priority is being a mom. I  am not a career mom. Will I be able to see any of my dreams happen?
   Everything looked scary. Someone that I thought loved me like a daughter wrote ugly letters to me telling me that everything was my fault. Everything rested on my shoulders. My children's lives were in turmoil because of me. I asked myself over and over again, is that true? Did I MAKE this happen. Did I push him towards these decisions?
  I took a step back and looked at my life as if I was talking to someone I didn't know. No, I was not perfect and blameless for some of the problems early on. Did I cause this to happen? No. You cannot force someone to love you or be loyal to you. You cannot choose good FOR them or MAKE them do the right thing. You are not a warden, a mother or an enforcer. One day you will be held accountable for YOUR sins, not your spouses. You will have to live with YOUR choices and the reactions you have had to other peoples choices.
    The world is a big place, but it is small all the same. It is open to anything. This is your chance to have a new life. This is a game changer. What are you going to do with it? What will you become from this hard time in your life? Your life can be something beautiful! Don't give those people the power over you to make you bitter, mad, angry or resentful. It isn't up to you to take vengeance on them. They will have to live with themselves. Sometimes that is the best punishment.
   Think about what you are good at. If you don't know, ask your friends. Figure out what your gift is and use it in a good way. Mine is the gift of gab, obviously. I have been devoting myself to women that are going through what I have been through. A lot of times I felt utterly alone. I didn't want to "burden" anyone so I sat there feeling like my heart would quit beating at any moment because it hurt so bad and I didn't tell a soul. DON'T DO THAT! Do not attempt to go through this alone. We aren't meant to. First of all, we have a Heavenly Father who is waiting in anticipation for you to say, "I need you." Secondly, I am here. Thirdly, I could just about bet you that you have friends that would come to you in a second to make sure you are okay.
  I have taken that love for other people and am now getting my degree in Psychology and minoring in Christian Counselling. I am completing my first book. I started this blog and a Facebook page called "Take a Leap". I am dong everything I can to help others, and in that, I have found healing. You can too!
  Where is God in all this? Let me tell you. God is always here. You may not be able to hear Him because your sobs are drowning out His voice. You may not be able to feel Him because all you feel is pain, but just know He is there. He is that weird calmness you get and that little voice that tells you that you are alright. He is there waiting for you to realize that you are stronger when you figure out you cannot do it alone. He made you just the way you are for a purpose. Find that purpose. Live a happy and fulfilled life with Him as your guide. That is some of the best "revenge" you can get. YOU CAN DO THIS!! Sometimes it is minute to minute. Then, it will be hour by hour. Then, day by day. Then before long you are sharing your story with someone else helping them get through the night.
   You can find healing and purpose in your life, no matter what God allowed to come your way. You do not have to understand it or make sense of it. You just need to trust Him. He can make someone that has been broken into something beautiful!!