Lately, I feel like I am overwhelmed with piles of something every time I walk into my house. Actually, I have felt quite discouraged and at a loss of what to do. The promise has been given that every toy in the house will be confiscated if these repeat offenders do not learn there lesson and clean up after themselves.
I swear, if I have to say, "Pick up after yourselves", one more time, they may lock me in a loony bin. I've got a decluttering plan in the works. Tonight, we have all five kids home and wanting to show off their dancing skills, play games and watch a family movie together. We finished Bingo, which I am the reigning champion, and I pulled out a book while they all got interested in a show on the History channel. I looked up and Robby was lying on the couch with one child wedged in between him and the back cushion, one was on his lap with a pillow lying on his chest, one was scrunched by his legs and both dogs were lying on him in the mix. The other two were on the love seat with me and we were crammed under a little black and red plaid blanket.
The way the dining room table seems to have more of the kids "projects" on it than places to eat, the way the island is the catch all for the business paperwork, or the way the laundry seems not quite find it's way to the drawers didn't matter. At that moment, we were all together. We were haphazardly piled on one another and loving it. It didn't matter my mop was going to start looking for other employment if I didn't use it this weekend or that I haven't even looked in the laundry room in 3 days. It didn't matter I was going through some, "what's my purpose moments". What mattered is we were all in a wad, scootched up to each other as close as possible laughing at everyone's reaction to the show. Everyone was visibly wore out from the week but at that moment, everything melted for me. The tightness in my chest, the anxiety of something I can't quite put my finger on was gone. I love my family. We are a hot CrAzY mess, almost all the time. Sometimes, I feel like I will lose my mind if we don't get a break on chaos. We are just a beautiful mess.
I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know if my house will ever look clean again. I don't know if I will ever get my book finished or score good on my class that starts next week. However, I know that we have a great life. We have a great family. I have all I could ever want under this roof. This beautiful mess is mine and it will be what I make of it. I feel such a sense of satisfaction in that.
We take for granted so many things. Many things we don't realize how amazing we had it until it is gone or we are grown and have a little more wisdom. I will not miss the mess but I would rather have the people around that are the creators of the messes than have a clean, quiet and empty house. For now, I am embracing my beautiful mess of a life and praying that our kids will always feel comfortable here to pile on us and just be.
No comments:
Post a Comment