We look at God as this supreme-being sitting up in Heaven on a marble throne with a sack full of lightning bolts with one at the ready just in case someone dares to do wrong.
Where do we get this idea that we are being punished for a mistake? Where do we get this idea that He will take a child from us because we did something wrong? What a shameful thing to teach and a horrible thing to believe. God is the God of love. The LAST resort would be for Him to punish us. Any place you look in the Bible about Jesus’ time on earth He fought for our cause with God. He used a prostitute, a whore, a prideful king, a thief, a murderer, a liar and the list goes on. There were consequences to their actions but it was a last resort to do something as a capital punishment. God created us. Don’t you think He is smart enough to know what He got Himself into? He knew what He was undertaking when He decided to make man. Nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to God. If you want to know why, ask! Are you afraid of the answer? You never know, you may get one.
Some things I have seen, like losing a child at a very young age or babies undergoing heart surgery, etc. I don’t get it. I don’t have to understand, I just need to trust. Since I have gone through some unexplained craziness in my world, I have been a more compassionate and understanding person. Did I enjoy going through those things? Absolutely not! Am I glad I did now? YES!! I am so glad I have allowed the hard stuff in my life to change me into a softer person. I am a fighter, and may wear armor, but my heart is soft. I may shoot fire from my eyes, but if you look closely there is always a tear at the edges. I may come down with a “hard hand” but my arms are always open for a hug. My back may be stiff, braced for what is to come and my feet ready to run into the battle, but my shoulder is also open for someone to cry on them. Each time my heart has been broken it has mended even stronger than it was before. Each time I have cried tears of hurt, tears of joy weren't far behind.
I asked God why and He gave me my answer. I looked around me, at what used to be my life, and realized He gave me reinforcements long before I needed them. He gave me two strong little people who have been my constant and I have been theirs. When others came in and out of their lives as if it were nothing, we were always together. They have asked the questions I didn't think of and forgave with grace that has shamed me. They have been my backup dancers and singers as we flatfooted to bluegrass music in the kitchen.They have been my hide and seek partners. They have held my hand as we walked into the church alone. They have been my movie buddies and ice cream thieves. They have read my stories before anyone else and thought I was amazing because I could write. We have been study buddies and princesses on parade. We have been stealth fighters and hunting pros. We have read hours of stories and have created our own. We have decided that our future is what we make of it. We aren’t allowed to sit around and think of what was or what should have been. We think about what is. If we don’t like how things are then we change them. We decided that anything that comes into our lives will make us stronger. No one person will have the power to determine how our life turns out other than ourselves. We are overcomers, fighters, loving people that cannot wait for each and every day because we have reinforcements.
I do not believe it is a bad thing to ask God the "why" of things. He position, power or intent isn't threatened. He knows how we are and what we lack. He isn't surprised at any of it. Sometimes, saying "God is in control." isn't enough. Sometimes, we need answers of questions we don't even know how to form. I love that He knows what I need, even when I don't. Ask. Look for the answer. Just never forget that God's love reaches through our questions and doubts and when we come to terms with what it happening in our lives, He will already be there.
*This is a little preview out of the book I have been writing. I hope and pray that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
JUST A LITTLE LIE
Tonight was one of those nights that I had to do what every parent hates to do. I had to discipline my son for lying. He had lied about finishing his homework assignment and this was the second time. The first time was on his birthday, of all days. They both receive a "grace card" that they can use whenever they want on the first demerit for school. He used his on his birthday and took a small punishment for what else that had happened. This morning I had got an email that he hadn't finished his homework and was receiving a demerit. After correspondence with his dad, I found out the entire story and he had lied, again. My heart sunk, The entire day, every time I thought about the kids I felt a sense of dread because I knew what had to be done.
I got home and said my hello's, took off my shoes and started warming up my supper. I called him into the kitchen. The conversation went a little like:
"Did you get a demerit today?"
"Yes"
"Why did you get a demerit?" I could tell that his future hadn't sunk in yet.
"I didn't do my math homework."
"When daddy asked you if you finished your homework, what did you tell him?"
(recognition) "I told him I did it all. I forgot that I had to do my math."
"Did you have your math book in your book bag?
"Yes."
"Why else would you have your Math book in your book bag unless it was to do homework? What is in the front of your binder?
"My weekly homework assignments."
"So you do know where to find them?"
"Yes." (weepy voice has fully taken effect at this time)
" When you told your dad you did all your homework and you didn't have it done, what would you call that?"
"A LIE!!!" (crying has set in)
"When you did this a few weeks ago, what did I tell you?"
"If I did it again I would get punished."
I proceeded to lecture him on lying. I know everyone hates to be lectured but it is a tool to teach and teach I did.
"You believe that telling that "little lie" bought you 10 minutes of extra play time but it snowballed. Now, you have to suffer the consequences of that choice. When you lie, it doesn't just affect you, it affects me, your dad, your teacher, your school work and your relationship with God. Just a little lie is now a huge ordeal. When you lie you break someone's trust. Not only to you have to catch up on that school work but you have to recover from the relationships that were affected by that 'little' lie."
I drew a diagram of a lie in the middle and lines going from the circle with the word "lie" written in it, to other circles that had mom, dad, teacher, school work, J and God written in them. I showed him how far reaching it is when you tell a lie. I explained how each thing or person was affected by that seemingly small choice. Afterwards, I brought it home to him and honestly, I am still praying that it was a good move.
"Do you remember what you told me when your dad left? You said that you knew why we weren't together anymore. You said that it was because dad lied. (He nodded his head.) He broke my, what?"
"Trust."
"I am practice for when you grow up. If you listen to me and obey the guidelines I set, more than likely, you will obey God when you are grown. If you start a habit of lying now, when you are 25 or 30 years old and break your wife's trust over and over again, your kids will be just like you and your sister. They will visit you on the weekends and staying with your wife during the week. They will be crying over the same hurt that you feel. Do you want that? You could possible prevent that from happening by practicing good habits now. Does that make sense?"
"Yes."
"I don't get disciplined by my parents anymore but I do get disciplined by God. If I don't obey Him, I have to pay the consequences as well. God gave you to me and I have a HUGE job of training you and giving you back to Him to serve Him one day. It's a big deal but I need your help. I need you to obey and listen, I am not trying to boss you around, I am trying to teach you for when I am not around anymore. There is no little boy I love more than you and what a good boy you are. It is all up to you. The decisions you make is yours. If you don't like the boy you see in that mirror than change it." (then he prayed and asked God for forgiveness. Called his dad and did the same)
One of the hardest things I have to do, more so that discipline, is making sure the truths and the "why" behind what you teach them to hit home. I want them to not just follow MY rules but guidelines they will use from now until they are older. That is so important to me. I don't want them to do it because I say. I want them to do it because it is right. I don't know if you are aware but raising kids is not easy. If you think it is, maybe you should reevaluate what you are doing.
Now that I have kids of my own, I can see that even the smallest things that I never gave much thought to were tools that were taught to me by my parents. When my kids were first born I realized what a "blank slate" they really were. It was my job to teach them EVERY little thing. What a huge and daunting task that looked like. They present you with many, many opportunities to teach them and show them the right way. At the same time, I really believe God uses that to show us some lessons as well. So many times I hear myself talking and think of God saying the same thing to me. It has changed my world.
It is so hard to explain how much I love my children. Even more so, it never ceases to amaze me how much more God loves us. I pray every day that I can be the parent my kids deserve. I pray that they will grow up to be more than just good citizens. I want them to be adults that change the world, even if it is just one person at a time.
I got home and said my hello's, took off my shoes and started warming up my supper. I called him into the kitchen. The conversation went a little like:
"Did you get a demerit today?"
"Yes"
"Why did you get a demerit?" I could tell that his future hadn't sunk in yet.
"I didn't do my math homework."
"When daddy asked you if you finished your homework, what did you tell him?"
(recognition) "I told him I did it all. I forgot that I had to do my math."
"Did you have your math book in your book bag?
"Yes."
"Why else would you have your Math book in your book bag unless it was to do homework? What is in the front of your binder?
"My weekly homework assignments."
"So you do know where to find them?"
"Yes." (weepy voice has fully taken effect at this time)
" When you told your dad you did all your homework and you didn't have it done, what would you call that?"
"A LIE!!!" (crying has set in)
"When you did this a few weeks ago, what did I tell you?"
"If I did it again I would get punished."
I proceeded to lecture him on lying. I know everyone hates to be lectured but it is a tool to teach and teach I did.
"You believe that telling that "little lie" bought you 10 minutes of extra play time but it snowballed. Now, you have to suffer the consequences of that choice. When you lie, it doesn't just affect you, it affects me, your dad, your teacher, your school work and your relationship with God. Just a little lie is now a huge ordeal. When you lie you break someone's trust. Not only to you have to catch up on that school work but you have to recover from the relationships that were affected by that 'little' lie."
I drew a diagram of a lie in the middle and lines going from the circle with the word "lie" written in it, to other circles that had mom, dad, teacher, school work, J and God written in them. I showed him how far reaching it is when you tell a lie. I explained how each thing or person was affected by that seemingly small choice. Afterwards, I brought it home to him and honestly, I am still praying that it was a good move.
"Do you remember what you told me when your dad left? You said that you knew why we weren't together anymore. You said that it was because dad lied. (He nodded his head.) He broke my, what?"
"Trust."
"I am practice for when you grow up. If you listen to me and obey the guidelines I set, more than likely, you will obey God when you are grown. If you start a habit of lying now, when you are 25 or 30 years old and break your wife's trust over and over again, your kids will be just like you and your sister. They will visit you on the weekends and staying with your wife during the week. They will be crying over the same hurt that you feel. Do you want that? You could possible prevent that from happening by practicing good habits now. Does that make sense?"
"Yes."
"I don't get disciplined by my parents anymore but I do get disciplined by God. If I don't obey Him, I have to pay the consequences as well. God gave you to me and I have a HUGE job of training you and giving you back to Him to serve Him one day. It's a big deal but I need your help. I need you to obey and listen, I am not trying to boss you around, I am trying to teach you for when I am not around anymore. There is no little boy I love more than you and what a good boy you are. It is all up to you. The decisions you make is yours. If you don't like the boy you see in that mirror than change it." (then he prayed and asked God for forgiveness. Called his dad and did the same)
One of the hardest things I have to do, more so that discipline, is making sure the truths and the "why" behind what you teach them to hit home. I want them to not just follow MY rules but guidelines they will use from now until they are older. That is so important to me. I don't want them to do it because I say. I want them to do it because it is right. I don't know if you are aware but raising kids is not easy. If you think it is, maybe you should reevaluate what you are doing.
Now that I have kids of my own, I can see that even the smallest things that I never gave much thought to were tools that were taught to me by my parents. When my kids were first born I realized what a "blank slate" they really were. It was my job to teach them EVERY little thing. What a huge and daunting task that looked like. They present you with many, many opportunities to teach them and show them the right way. At the same time, I really believe God uses that to show us some lessons as well. So many times I hear myself talking and think of God saying the same thing to me. It has changed my world.
It is so hard to explain how much I love my children. Even more so, it never ceases to amaze me how much more God loves us. I pray every day that I can be the parent my kids deserve. I pray that they will grow up to be more than just good citizens. I want them to be adults that change the world, even if it is just one person at a time.
Friday, September 5, 2014
WISHING ON A SHOOTING STAR
The kids and I were walking in from church one night and it was so dark we could barely see the outline of the house. We looked up and it was breathtaking how much the stars shown. My daughter asked me, "If you wish on a shooting star, will it really come true?"
(I am not one of those people that can out right lie to my kids, even if it about Santa or the Tooth Fairy. I will say something that lets the imagination work but I just cannot lie if they ask me outright. They know that and use it against me.)
So, I told her as honestly as I could. "Well, if I ever see a shooting star, I wish on it. I don't recall if even one hasn't come true. So, if it doesn't work, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Let me wish on my stars and leave me be." She looked at me very skeptically after we got inside, shrugged her shoulders, said,"OK" and went to her room.
The more I thought about that, the more I felt thankful that I never had to worry if my wish was coming true. My wishes sound a little more like prayers than wishes but I send them to the One that can deliver. I don't HAVE to wish or hope that a shooting star has some mystical powers that takes that wish with it and delivers it to some phantom being as it's last act before it goes into oblivion. The thing is, I know the Creator of the stars. He knows when that star has shown its brilliance for the very last time. He knew the exact second that it died and I believe He smiles at me when I send it off with a secret wish.
We say that we believe in God, but do we really? We say He can do anything but how do we really know? What have we done that shows that we believe that? How easy it is, as those little phrases, verses and cliches just roll off our tongue. How do we back it? What has happened in our own life that shows other people that we have the "proof"?
I have been through a time where I said all the right things and I sympathized with whomever I was speaking with. It wasn't until my own hard time came that I really believed in what God could do. I still try to control the situation, work myself to death and don't ever admit it but think that God is too busy or has people with "real" problems to worry about. After everything I have been through, I still think that sometimes. I have to make myself stop, turn around and look at where I have been. I have to remember where God walked with me, carried me and sometimes drug me along the way. Bless me, but I don't make it easy. I think before a guardian angel can retire, God sends them to me for six months to where I can help them earn their retirement. I imagine those angels walking into the celestial choir after their bout with me, scooting into their row. One nods their head at the other with a knowing smile on their face and says, "Stacy?" The other one, nods back and says, "Yep." He knows my problems, weaknesses and dreams. It is up to me to ask. It is up to me to let Him show me who He is and work through me.
I have seen some teenagers with very good singing voices sing in churches. Different group, same song but the church comes unglued. What is the difference? It's the "proof". They have lived a life where God proved that He was real. They have lived in a situation or had no one but Him. The words were the same. The music was the same. Four part harmony echoed throughout the building. The difference was, they didn't wish on a star and hope it would be okay. They knew it would be because they believed in a God that showed up and they allowed Him to work in their lives. Even when all they could do is cry in hurt and confusion, He heard their cry and answered their prayers. Those singers knew that He not only knows when that star fell but He knows their name.
(I am not one of those people that can out right lie to my kids, even if it about Santa or the Tooth Fairy. I will say something that lets the imagination work but I just cannot lie if they ask me outright. They know that and use it against me.)
So, I told her as honestly as I could. "Well, if I ever see a shooting star, I wish on it. I don't recall if even one hasn't come true. So, if it doesn't work, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Let me wish on my stars and leave me be." She looked at me very skeptically after we got inside, shrugged her shoulders, said,"OK" and went to her room.
The more I thought about that, the more I felt thankful that I never had to worry if my wish was coming true. My wishes sound a little more like prayers than wishes but I send them to the One that can deliver. I don't HAVE to wish or hope that a shooting star has some mystical powers that takes that wish with it and delivers it to some phantom being as it's last act before it goes into oblivion. The thing is, I know the Creator of the stars. He knows when that star has shown its brilliance for the very last time. He knew the exact second that it died and I believe He smiles at me when I send it off with a secret wish.
We say that we believe in God, but do we really? We say He can do anything but how do we really know? What have we done that shows that we believe that? How easy it is, as those little phrases, verses and cliches just roll off our tongue. How do we back it? What has happened in our own life that shows other people that we have the "proof"?
I have been through a time where I said all the right things and I sympathized with whomever I was speaking with. It wasn't until my own hard time came that I really believed in what God could do. I still try to control the situation, work myself to death and don't ever admit it but think that God is too busy or has people with "real" problems to worry about. After everything I have been through, I still think that sometimes. I have to make myself stop, turn around and look at where I have been. I have to remember where God walked with me, carried me and sometimes drug me along the way. Bless me, but I don't make it easy. I think before a guardian angel can retire, God sends them to me for six months to where I can help them earn their retirement. I imagine those angels walking into the celestial choir after their bout with me, scooting into their row. One nods their head at the other with a knowing smile on their face and says, "Stacy?" The other one, nods back and says, "Yep." He knows my problems, weaknesses and dreams. It is up to me to ask. It is up to me to let Him show me who He is and work through me.
I have seen some teenagers with very good singing voices sing in churches. Different group, same song but the church comes unglued. What is the difference? It's the "proof". They have lived a life where God proved that He was real. They have lived in a situation or had no one but Him. The words were the same. The music was the same. Four part harmony echoed throughout the building. The difference was, they didn't wish on a star and hope it would be okay. They knew it would be because they believed in a God that showed up and they allowed Him to work in their lives. Even when all they could do is cry in hurt and confusion, He heard their cry and answered their prayers. Those singers knew that He not only knows when that star fell but He knows their name.
"He counts the stars one and all.
He knows how much sand is on the shore.
He sees every sparrow that falls.
He made the mountains and the seas.
He's in control of everything.
Of all creatures great and small
He knows my name,
Every step that I take,
Every move that I make,
Every tear that I cry.
And He knows my name,
When I'm overwhelmed by the pain
And can't see the light of day
I know I'll be just fine
Cause He knows my name.
I don't know what tomorrow may bring
I can't tell you what's in store
I don't know a lot of things
I don't have all the answers to the questions of life
But I know in whom I believe. "
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)