As I sat in the parking lot, I was going between excessively happy and ready to panic. What am I thinking?! I'm totally insane! No one says I have to marry this guy. I'm just gonna have fun. What if he's crazy? What if he doesn't look like his picture? What if I fall for him but he isn't legit?! Can I take heartbreak anymore? He calls me. He confesses that he is beyond nervous. He said, "My hands are even sweating." Then, I was laughing. It was so great that this big ol NC boy was nervous about little me. I see his power stroke, Ford 250 sitting at the stoplight. I laughed out loud and clapped my hands like a kid. This is going to be great! I knew I wouldn't walk away from this night the same. I sat there and wanted him to walk into the restaurant first. I wanted to get a good look at him to prepare myself. Yes, I totally want to check him out. He sat in his truck and I could hear his thoughts from where I was sitting. He was thinking, where is she? Do I get out and go in? Should I meet her in the parking lot? I don't want to look stupid. I was holding my phone in my hand because I knew he would call me. He did. My phone rang and I laughed in it and said, "you are a chicken." He said where are you at? Coyly I responded, "Watching you. I can almost hear your debate from here." He laughed then and I told him I would meet him at his truck. He still hesitated. By then I could hardly quit smiling and laughing, my sarcasm was on overdrive in my head. I saw his boots hit the ground and I knew I was in BIG trouble. I came around the truck and we both looked at each other with smiles and I laughed as I and hugged him. We had immediate chemistry. Immediate. I was teasing him to make him comfortable and loving ribbing him for his nerves. We went in and i complimented him and he told me, You don't look too bad yourself. As a matter of fact, can I hug you again?" And that folks, is what we call brownie points. We were seating at our table and didn't talk a whole lot at first. He was just a mess. He now says it was an act, but I can assure you, it wasn't. The lady next to me didn't realize she had reached her limit on wine and started stroking my hair. "Is your hair real?" She asks me if I minded if she touched it as her dirty fingers were literally entangled in my hair. She's laughing and leaning over trying to talk to me so we start laughing at her expense. It was priceless.
After we ate, he decides the night can't end. We are within a few miles of the theater and we jet over there to watch a movie. I can't remember a thing about it except that he relaxed a bit more. At the end of the night, we both were wishing for more time and less space. He walks me to my car and I get in. He is sitting in his truck at this point. I sit there for a second, talking to myself as I am slowly inching out of my parking spot. You know if you go home now, you will regret not kissing him. We have no idea when we can get together again and even if we have THAT kind of chemistry... Oh goodness, you only live once. No regrets, remember? I pulled on the other side of him. I get out, and he opens his door, which kind of almost ruined my plans. I crooked my finger at him and I had a really serious face on. He's like, what's wrong?! I said, "Are you ready?" His eyes got big as can be and he said, "Are you going to kiss me?!!" I laughed at his face and said, "Yes. I hope you're ready." Well, that was a great ending to a perfect first date and I'm pretty sure fireworks were going off, if not over our heads then in them.
We talked every day since that night. We have spent evenings under shooting stars. We have spent evenings dealing with emotional children. We've spent time beside our grandparents as they went to Heaven. We have stood beside each other and held each other as we cried over the loss. We have had some very big things to get through. We have dealt with deaths in our families that shook us all to our core. We have had to deal with past hurts, exes and learning to trust ourselves and each other. We have had to learn to balance our lives, kids, exes, church, work and reality all at the same time. I have lived two lives. I have one in Durham and one in Charlotte. I've lived out of a suitcase sine January. I have traveled almost 300 miles every weekend since then. When my kids are with their dad, his kids are just arriving. Sometimes, there have been tears and fears that have clouded our time together. Sometimes there has been personal tough times for both of us that caused us to learn that we have a team member that will help carry the load.
We discussed getting married and had a date picked out. We have two sets of kids and there has to be allowances made for that in dealing with the exes and the transition. We have been working on giving his house a face-lift in all of this craziness as well. Thursday evening, I had finished my first day of class and he had finished work. It was raining like crazy but we wanted to have a date. We hadn't had a kid free, real date in a while. I got dressed up and had my "real" hair done up like a real, southern movie star and we set out. We ate some amazing food at Firebirds and I laughed until I cried. We were just sitting there and he started being sentimental. He told me he loved me and asked me if I knew that he did. I'm still giggling about what we had been talking about before. I can't ever just say, yes I know you love me, I have to ask why. Bless him. He told me, as he has before, you are what I've always wanted and what I had been looking for. He says, I got something for you. One of my love languages is sarcasm, so I'm still thinking he's teasing and say, you do huh? He pulls out a gorgeous box and I look at him with wide eyes and say,You're serious? I thought you were teasing me. He gets down on his knee and asks me if I will marry him. Mmmmmhhhh. Lemme think... Haha, YES!
Back it up two weeks, he had everything planned out to come to my house and surprise me. He caught a horrible bug and was down for the count for a long time. Then, that night, it rained. Again, thwarting his plans. I wasn't really expecting it because I knew he had been planning this for a while. Good surprise, for sure!!!
Ever since I was a girl I wished on every falling star I saw, making wishes on dandelion puffs and eye lashes. I wished for that love, the kind that you can't live without. The kind of love that thousands of books have been written about. The kind of love that lasts forever. It isn't fickle or easy to forget. It is something that you don't just happen upon or fall into but love that you choose. Yes, I was and am very attracted to him, but more than that, my heart and soul has longed for something I didn't think I would find and then, I did. I found it in him. Robby is a rough and rugged type of man. He is kind and genuine. He is an incredible hard worker. He is the man that I trust with my kids. He will be a great example for my kids. He is loving and just as stubborn as I am! We have grown together in our relationship and have become better people because we have known each other.
June 6, 2015, Robby and I will be having a nighttime wedding and beginning our adventure surrounded by our family and a few friends. We won't be just getting married, we will be blending our families. Jayden and Chloe are very excited that they will have Robby in there lives permanently. Chloe is SO thrilled to have 3 more girls to play with and Jayden is coming to terms with being incredibly outnumbered. We will be a part of an amazing family that has accepted me with open arms. I'm so blessed to have their influence on my children as well.
I'm so grateful for every prayer, encouraging word and every person that supported me even when all I could do was speak about my hurt. Thank you to my mom and sister that have been my protectors and for loving me through my heartache even when I wasn't lovable. Thank you to my mom and her husband for showing me what a second chance looks like. Our journey didn't even start smoothly but who wants that? "We don't do easy, we do worth it." Apparently, easy isn't something I know anything about. Every bump, mountain and hilltop has made us stronger and I just pray it continues to do so.
Every wish I made, I made for you. I just hadn't met you yet.
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