ALL I HAVE IS ME

When I first started dating, I knew who I was and all I had to offer. I was a stay at home mom that devoted my life to my kids and their dad. I didn't have rock hard abs, money in the bank, stocks, bonds, an inheritance, a new car or even a house. It was just us. There was one thing I've always had was my word. I'm blatantly honest, sometimes to a fault. I felt as if I wasnt in the "league" like other women because I had none of those things. I had stretch marks, some adorable love handles, csection scar, and I couldn't seem to break free of my voluptuous curves. Most people out there were gym rats. I'm sorry, I'm trying to keep groceries on the table and an ounce of sanity in my head. I don't have time for anything much less the gym where I feel like I am wearing a sign that says, pitifully out of shape. I would never be on the cover of anything. I couldn't even remember the last time I had a real pedicure. I like the out of doors, gardening and anything other than shopping. What woman says that?!?

  I have no security and I'm trying to figure out what I like in general. Let's not mention trying to figure out who is legit and who is just out for a "lonely woman" that would make a great and seemingly an easy target. Doesn't that sound like a promising profile?  Accomplishments include... Getting up in the morning and not strangling the ex. Boom! Send me a smile, message or get in line!

This was a serious problem in my mind. Who would want me?!? Wait, back it up! Who wouldn't want me? Look what I have been through. I'm like a warrior with the diplomacy of Barbara Walters and the compassion of Mother Theresa. I have survived the birth of 2 children, gossip, depression, weight gain, weight loss, separation from all that I knew, the cold shoulder, being practically disowned, knowing no one believed me and only 2 witnesses to some of the "smaller incidents", joblessness, "homelessness", intimidation, moving several times, losing friends and family, raising two kids with little or no help financial or otherwise. Who wouldn't want someone someone like me? I'm an overcomer! Awesome! Amazing!

 That doesn't change the past or cover the scars or cushion the daily pains that come with being an overcomer. That doesn't make it any easier to hold my head up high and waltz out the door to greet my potential date. What do I say? I have no great travels to brag about, no hiking trips planned, no great boardroom stories to tell. I can tell you how my kids changed my world, how they taught me the art of patience, how they mysteriously forget how to clean up after themselves after bath time, how they came into this world and how they take it by storm. That my friends, is great dating conversations made to impress, says no one ever!

  All I have to offer is me. Take me as I am or not at all.  You think you won't find that person who likes your quirks and your "mom body". You think that you are the only one that thinks you are funny. You think you won't ever trust someone with your kids. You think that you won't ever laugh til you cry. You think that you will never feel like yourself again. You feel like you will always feel like an outsider. Then, when you give up hoping and praying it will happen and it does. You meet that person that loves you "as is". He laughs with you, cries with you, fights with you and loves on you. He rubs your feet and pours you something to drink. He lets you take a nap and keeps all 5 kids busy. He matches you in wit and stubbornness and its a beautiful thing. You work together, play together, wish together and will stay together. If all you have to offer is you, it is just enough for the right person. Believe me, it can happen. Don't let the people in your past, your own insecurities or the messed up world we live in convince you that you aren't a good "catch". You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you are just enough.