JUST A MOM

  The other day, I was sitting in a meeting full of women and someone had made the statement of "just being a mommy". The lady that spoke worked outside the home and was speaking about how our minds can be used against us. When she said that phrase, a lady sitting in front of me looked down for a minute. It was a big tell. I asked later if she was a stay at home mom, she was.
  My heart just felt so heavy for her. I wanted to take her to the side and give her a pep talk. I cannot stand for someone to imply that being "just a mom" or being a stay at home mom isn't a big job. YES IT IS. I have had to work 13 hours a day and be a single parent and I've worked 24 hours a day being a stay at home mom. What isn't said is when you do stay in the home and work, you feel complete guilt when you don't do what is "expected" or don't work yourself into falling asleep on the couch every night. If you work outside the home and don't get your checklist completed, you tell yourself about the 40 hours you did get done at work that week.
  I wanted to tell her how her "invisible hands" that folded hundreds of items from the dryer, the dishes she washed, rinsed and repeated, the meals she prepared, the tears she dried, the floors she swept, vacuumed, mopped, the beds she made, the lessons taught, the heads and bodies she washed, the diapers she changed, the walls she decorated, the bathrooms she cleaned and the home she organized wasn't invisible to me. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much you clean, it doesn't matter. It feels like the work you do isn't important but it is. You get to see your children every day. You get to be the one to tuck them into bed at night. You get to be the one that teaches your kids how to make their beds, clean their rooms and brush their teeth. Sometimes, it is very thankless and to be completely honest, it gets old. There are those times when that baby looks at you like you are their world. Those times when your kids hug your neck with all their might and you know you are "it" for them. Those times your son looks at you and says, " Mom, you really ARE the best." It's those times that the mundane becomes a hurdle to jump to get those smiles, hugs and bits of encouragement. It's in those times that mountain of laundry you have to wash AGAIN isn't as bad as it seems.
I go through the same guilt now that I'm married again, stay home with my kids, help with the business and am going to be homeschooling. I've been sick for over 2 months and it makes the guilt worse. If I go through a day that I don't feel as if I have "earned my keep", I'm like a dog with a bone. I just happen to be married to a man that only cares if the bed is made and everything else is a bonus. It still doesn't matter. I seldom give myself a break.
  As a mom, you don't get holidays, weekends or even nights off. You are on call 24/7 and you don't get a physical check or benefits for the work you do. You are seldom thanked for wiping a 3 year olds bottom for the umpteenth time in a day. No one puts a gold star on YOUR chart because you go to the bathroom to make sure it's tidy for the 2, 768th time that day and again it looks like a puppy has gotten into the toilet paper and the trash can has been overturned. The 5 towels that were neatly hanging on their hooks have new been blown off their hooks and the door that is the gateway to a magical wonderland of bows, hair things is and all the extras for the bathroom is standing open and random things are disheveled, opened or spilled. Their is toothpaste on the sink, under the medicine cabinet, caked in the shower curtain and under the drawer pull and now on my hand. Their is a even tile now missing in the bathroom. I find myself wondering if they have magic powers that they may turn into little tornadoes when they come into the bathroom. I will never wear socks again into the bathroom that our children use. Ever. The rug is squishy wet and they haven't even taken baths yet. What in the world?!? No one knows how many times you truly clean up after your children and utter the same instructions daily. But, hat box in the living room that I keep forgetting to take to Goodwill, laughs at my inadequacy every time I pass it. As I'm sitting on the couch right now there are 3 bins staring at me begging me to be taken to their owners from my WEDDING. The wedding that happen several weeks ago.
  Give yourself a break! It is ok to be human. It is ok to feel like you don't want to do anything but eat and sleep all day. Your body is talking to you, listen. If all you do is play with your kids all day, every once in a while, you aren't a failure. It's called being a mom... That is human.... That accepts that humanity with pride.
   I am a mom. Whether I stay at home with my kids or work 40 hours a week, being a mom is job enough. I may not get thanks for the little things but it is my name they call when they need
something or want to talk. It is me that they will wish they could curl up in my lap one more time when life gets too much. We never know what we will say to them, how we love them or what they learn from us will impact them as adults. Being a mom is an honor. Being a mom is a reward. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom sucks when you have to be THAT mom but you do it because that's who you are and one day our kids will thank us for what we were to them.
  No one may know everything we have  done in our lifetimes but that's not why we do it. We do it because we love them. We do it because no matter how much poop that baby produces, it can never top the amount of love you feel for them. We do it because no matter how many Legos have broken the skin to the soft part of our feet, nothing can replace that little man wrapping his arms around you in front of his friends.  We do it because we needed someone to love and God gave us our kids. We do it because we are moms.