POINT OF REFERENCE

The other day I was talking and I realized that I said, since my divorce, after everything I've been through, a lot. My point of reference was always my divorce, the loss, the change in my life. It has been over a year since my divorce. I don't want every reference I make to involve my divorce as my point of reference in time. I need a new marker. I decided that I am going to start a tradition that the kids and I will do every year to close out our year and begin the new one. Something that has nothing to do with holidays or birthdays.
   I have been brainstorming and would love some suggestions as well. My thoughts are to take the kids out on a trail, have a picnic and have some time with just us to talk about our year and our expectations of the year to come. I want to have a time capsule and every year put our goals and burdens in that capsule. After that year we will read what our goals and burdens were and see what goals have been met and if God has chosen to take care of our burdens that we had that year. When should I do this? I am thinking a month after school starts we will do our little escape. That way, I can see, each year, how they are settling into school and address any problems at that time as well.
   We all know that divorce is hard. We know that it is a major mark on someone's life. I do not want every instance from now until I die to make a reference to that time. I want us to move on in word and deed. It is up to me to create the desire to set goals and dreams within themselves and give them the tools and encouragement to meet those goals. Now is the time when I can establish good habits and reinforce the hard stuff with a positive attitude. It will also require me to make goals and dreams for myself. It will give me the chance to share some burdens I have with the kids and give God a chance to help us with everything we put in our capsule. When it is opened, my hope is that those goals have been met and the burdens have been taken away.
   There is something in everyone's life that you mark time with. In my case, BD (before divorce) or AD (after divorce). I cannot wait around in hopes I get remarried, then add that as a marker. It may not happen. I will be wasting valuable time and effort, not to mention setting myself up for disappointment. It is up to me to make this a jumping off point.(Feel free to interject some ideas and also my crafty friends to help me think of something that would make a good time capsule. Regardless of the tradition that we come up with, the time capsule is a definite.) Our new point of reference will be something excited that we can enjoy as a family. Something that will create amazing memories and hopefully draw us closer. It is always easier to remember negative things in our life. We can remember what the weather was like, what we were wearing and many more details of a bad instance. I want to strive to create a day, tradition, mark of something that can be referenced that causes a smile, laugh or just a good memory in general. Honestly, I need to do that daily. Reflect on the positive that happened that day and not the negative so my new point of reference will be positive.