DATING

    Dating. It is a different world than when you were in college and being asked out by a little cutie. Now, you have to roll whatever change you can find and find a sweet little soul to watch your kids for you, if you can actually find a guy that is okay with a ready made family. Of course you could ask family but who wants to go through that third degree when you already are contemplating throwing up? Then you go on this date after running around all day working, getting the house straightened, making supper for everyone, trying to remember how to walk in heels and feeling awkward in something other than pajamas. He pulls up and you have this out of body experience. You look down on yourself and think, who are you kidding? You have two children at home and a momma body? You know very good and well that this man will never be good enough for your kids and he for sure wouldn't want less than a model to date. Pasting on a smile you slide in the car and pray the sitter isn't driven to madness by the time you get back. As you sit in the car and get a whiff of his cologne you start ticking off things in you mind. Look at his hands. Oh good he has workers hands. A little cut above the knuckle and looks like some calluses. Look at his teeth. No tobacco stains. Whew! A little crooked but healthy gums so probably good hygiene. Now for his clothes. Hhhmmm not wrinkled. Wonder if he ironed his clothes or he stopped off at his moms house before he came to pick me up. He thinks I am funny. Bonus! Could I kiss him? Am I attracted to him in that way? Oh Lord, what if he tries to kiss me and I don't want to??
You cannot tell me you have not done it. You sit at the supper table and watch him eat. Is he a loud chewer? Does he have manners? Is he courteous to you? Does it come naturally or is he trying to be too smooth? What is his conversation like? What kind of couple do you look like.
I know exactly how this same guy is feeling too. He sees you come down to get in the car and he thinks, WOW! She is beautiful. I hope she likes me. Ah... I think I will get steak.
We make things soooo complicated. I think it is good to make sure you have the right componants in a relationship, lets be honest, if he doesn't have it together at thirty something you cannot do anything with him. Let me say, and I am saying this to myself as well, HAVE FUN. So what if he isn't "THE ONE"? You can have fun and get a free meal! That sounds like a plan to me. There is no guide to how to date after divorce and children book that I know of or have read. Each person is different and each couple is different as well. Just breathe. Of course you should have guidelines and an escape plan, just in case but have fun going out and figure it out as you go. Good luck!