FRIENDS

When I was growing up I never had girlfriends. I didn't understand girls at all. I guess that is something I have never accomplished. I know I am a woman, but I have never understood the "average" woman. I always hung out with the boys. They were easier to understand and easier to deal with. To girls, everything means something and there is A LOT of maintenance in the relationship. If a girl is mad at you, she will smile in your face and turn the knife in your back. If a guy is mad at you, he will tell you straight up and in five minutes be you're best friends again. Guys don't care if you notice their new shirt or know who they like. They aren't in constant competition with you unless there is a ball involved.
Until a few years ago, I never had girl friends. I now have a handful of girl friends who aren't "high maintenance". I do have some friends that are constantly mad at me for something and I don't have time to figure out what I did or didn't do. I have some friends, I haven't seen in years and we can pick up where we left off like no time has past at all. That is so wonderful. It isn't that I think that my friends aren't worth the time, but there is something about someone who isn't needy and you don't have to disrupt your whole life in order to make sure they are okay.
There are some friends I have kept up with since high school. I have made new friends and some I have known since I have been a little girl but didn't get close to until recently. Those friends have kept my sanity. Those friends have believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Not too long ago there was a couple people who sent me a message saying they have always watched me and I inspired them. What? Me?? There was no "maintenance" involved. There was just a drive to succeed and it was noticed. I have been to where I just sat on my bed and took a mental note of my life and wished I could be anyone else but me at that moment. Then, out of nowhere I would have one of my friends send me love or prayers and I get up and go one more day. Where would we be without those friends in our life? WHO would we be? The one time in my life I consider myself to have a best friend, would be now. I have two friends that know just about everything about me and they love me and actually want to spend time with me. They are ready to fight beside me or cry with me. We have been through so much together. We live further apart than I would like, but the miles are nothing to a bond like ours. If I need to know an opinion regardless of our relationship, I can get it from either of them. One of my friends has kids and we parent alike, which is rare for me. We have the motherly talks together and the worries that we have and find solutions together for what we are going through. The other friend has known me since high school and knows the me back then and the me now. He will tell me straight up or call me on my crap. I love it! I need it. I have said all that to say this, know who your friends are. Just because they talk to you, doesn't mean they don't talk about you. Your friends should be "above" you on some level in some way. Your friends should make you better, not wallow with you in whatever trouble you are in. Your friends can help get you where you want to go in life or they can cripple your future. It isn't easy letting go of the friends that aren't good for you, but in order to be who you need to be, sometimes it is necessary.
You cannot pick the family you are born into, but you can pick your friends. In my case, my friends have become my family. If you could pick your family, who would they be? What would they be like? What would they parent like? What would they say to you when you are into something you shouldn't be? Find that family and don't let them go. I have very few super close friends and I have maybe a handful of  friends that I can call for anything or nothing at all. I pick carefully. Sometimes I pick wrong. I don't give up making those choices because I do not want to miss out on something amazing just because I have been burnt before. That is like refusing to cook because you got burnt getting something out of the oven. Some of the best cooks I know can lift their sleeves and show you scars of cooking mishaps. Some of the best friends I have, have been betrayed in unimaginable ways. Some folks have supported this blog, made comments, been my cheerleader, asked for prayers or advice. Some have needed a laugh. Some have watched silently but were not silent when it came to sending prayers for me.  Some I will never know how they have shown their friendship. This is an official thank you to those friends that have stuck by me even when everyone else walked away. I pray I am the same type of friend to you that you have been to me. We have been on this crazy journey together and I cannot imagine better people to be walking with. Love you!!