KEPT OR CONQUEST

 Since the beginning of time, men have like to conquer, whether it be a patch of land, a mountain, or a city. I don't want to be conquered. I want to be kept. I am a strong woman but I don't want to have to be strong all the time. I don't cry often but I want to be allowed the pleasure of being emotional when the need arises. I am not perfect but I want to be treasured. I have a mind of my own and want to be valued for it not patted on the head and sent off like a child. I have dreams and desires and would love to be supported in them. I don't want to be the next conquest on someone's check list. I want to be the one that his soul desires. I don't want to be a stand in until something better comes along or a warm body to keep one from loneliness. I don't want to have to feel like I have to attempt perfection to please someone. I don't want to become something I am not in order for someone to love me. I don't want to be measured by my possessions. I want to be seen for me and not be found lacking. I want to be loved from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and everything in between.

  To be kept. Not as a trophy but as something that is priceless. Someone whose value cannot be measured. I don't want to be a novelty or the one who got away but now is free to pursue again. I want to be held like I may break. I want to be loved like it is our last day on earth. I want to be romanced. I want to be spun around and held close. I want to be hand in hand with someone that looks at me like I am the only girl in the room. I want someone to guide me not push me around. I want to someone to not be able to get enough of me they have to touch my hand or arm when they walk by me just because. I don't want to be ridiculed for my beliefs but supported and agreed with. I want someone who parents with me not against me. I want someone who isn't afraid of a debate. I want to be able to give myself wholly and not be afraid that I'm not the only one in their life.

  What am I willing to do to not give up those wants and desires? I am willing to not settle for less. I am willing to keep the hope alive that God will give me someone that will feel that way about me and I them. I am willing to give them the same. I am willing to surpass their desires and help them fly beyond their dreams. I am willing to be the best me I can be and give myself freely.

   Is it possible? Have I watched too many movies and listened to too many love songs? I believe that is the kind of love God intended on us knowing. We have such a hard time with unconditional love because it isn't the kind of love we give. We think less of ourselves so we settle for less than the Lord wants for us. There is so much that God wants for us but we don't ask. "Ye have not because ye ask not." Here I am asking, dreaming, hoping, desiring for something more than a conquest. I am asking to experience love that is timeless and to be kept forever.